I Need You
by Kuragari75
Summary: cross post from AFF: Roy's been lonely ever since the whole Shambala incedent. But while sitting vigil at Maes' grave, he gets an unexpected visitor RoyxEd not very explicit content as of now, just some swearing.
1. Chapter 1

Kuragari: Ok… here's the set up for this story. It's right after the events in conqueror of Shambala… except that Ed manages to stay in Amestris. After that he and Al live in Rizembool for a while… Ed still doing work for the military until he decided to resign after a year. This is set for six months-ish after his resignation. That's pretty much it. Anyway… hope you like it!

Edward made his way up the hill of the cemetery, the roses and a single white candle tucked beneath one arm. The sun was setting beyond the trees as the day waned into night. He almost wished he hadn't waited so long to come out and visit, but then again, he never came earlier. He was too afraid to really face everyone else.

He couldn't believe how long ago it seemed that Hughes had passed away; it felt like it had been ages since that horrible day when he and Al had received the awful news that one of their closest friends and mentors had been killed.

There wasn't a day that went by that he didn't think about it, didn't remember the pain of that loss, but it was all the more clear on this day. The fallen Brigadier General's birthday.

Ed could never face anyone else on this day. He felt… responsible in some way for not being there when everything had happened. He just couldn't gather with the others. His brother seemed to understand, as did Gracia. Ed always remembered to call her on these days, if only to make up some lame excuse as a reason behind it.

Ed sighed as he crested the hill, only two graves away from Hughes's resting place, and froze, staring at the scene before him.

A dark form was hunched against the granite headstone, a candle burning beside one white gloved hand with an open wine bottle clutched in the other. Charcoal hair hung low over a bowed head and a rumpled blue jacket was carelessly slung over slumped shoulders.

Ed couldn't make out the face of his old commanding officer, but the large black patch over one side of his face was still painstakingly obvious. Edward took a deep breath.

He hadn't seen or really even spoken to Mustang much since the whole Shambala incident when he'd managed to destroy the gate and went to live with his brother and Winry in Rizembool.

Now that he thought about it… he hadn't seen Roy since he'd turned in his resignation from the military. It had been about six months since that last trip to Central, and Ed mused that the Colonel turned Brigadier General definitely looked different.

'Different' meaning that Roy looked like shit.

The man looked exhausted and worn; Ed couldn't believe the broken form in front of him was really Mustang, the infamous Flame Alchemist. He carefully approached the hunched over man, almost afraid to see that Roy had really become this big of a mess. What had happened to him? Ed wasn't sure how to approach his former superior while the man was so obviously down.

"I'd ask how it's going, but from the looks of you, life's been kicking your ass," Edward spoke up, deciding to settle for sarcasm… old ground between the two alchemists.

Roy had lost track of how long he'd been there… just sitting and drinking with his old friend. This was as close as the two would ever be again. He had made the customary stop at Gracia's earlier that day and said hi to Elyssia before he'd finished all his work early and headed to the cemetery. He came alone every year to sit and talk to Hughes, trying to gain some small comfort from the action.

This year was different. Roy was alone more than usual today. He had no one anymore. Riza had oddly enough settled down with a nice man a few months back. Havoc had been discharged from the military due to injuries sustained during that last big battle. The man had caught a bullet to the back and was now paralyzed from the waist down, but he was enjoying his stay-in-home nurse immensely.

Falman and Fuery had both been transferred to different areas and left him feeling more alone than ever. What had really driven home the loneliness, was when the fiery ball of gold that was the Fullmetal Alchemist had resigned from the military and walked straight out of Roy's life. He was alone… utterly and completely left alone.

He didn't even have a goal anymore. The military's rule had been cut down and replaced with a council… so achieving Fuhrer wasn't possible. He had nothing left, but a half-empty bottle and broken dreams.

Roy heard the footsteps approaching but didn't look up. He didn't want to know who had come this time to pay their respects. He just wanted to be left alone. That's when the person spoke. A voice he'd never thought he'd hear again blasted over his ears, shaking him out of his brooding enough to look up in shock, and shattered onyx met blazing gold.

He had to blink several times to get his eye to focus and make sure he wasn't just seeing things. No, no matter how many times he blinked, the slightly blurred form of the Fullmetal Alchemist still stood before him. Ed looked good.

The young man had gained a few more inches to his height since Mustang had seen him last, but the officer was fairly certain if he were standing that the golden head still would only reach to just below his chin.

Ed was dressed simply in brown slacks, a white button down, and a long brown trench coat. His golden locks were pulled back into a long pony-tail that the alchemist had taken to wearing in the other world.

Roy tried to focus past his buzzed brain on what Ed had said to him. When it finally clicked, his good eye narrowed.

"Same old Ed… Manners still haven't improved." The words were only slightly slurred and had half of their usual snap. Roy just couldn't muster his old fire today. It also didn't help him sound like an ass when he was genuinely happy to see the ex-Fullmetal Alchemist, no matter how badly he just wanted to be left alone.

Ed frowned slightly at the use of his shortened name. Now he **knew** the bastard was drunk. He could probably count on both hands, and still have fingers left over, how many times the General had called him 'Edward'… let alone 'Ed'. He cleared his throat and set the flowers down next to many others from friends and family that had been by earlier. There were also about four candles, only one still burning, and two empty wine bottles, excluding the still half-full one the General still clutched.

"How long have you been here, Bastard?" Ed asked, half to be an ass, and half out of genuine curiosity. He placed his candle down after using Roy's last one to light it and then stood, shoving his hands in his pockets.

Roy's head lolled a bit as he tilted it up to look at Ed, the onyx eye looking stern and slightly pissed, a look Ed was extremely familiar with.

"I don't know, Fullmetal. I neglected to bring my watch with me." Roy half snapped, half growled.

Ed nearly smirked at Roy's normal attitude returning along with the use of his old alchemic title. It was almost absurd how happy that small display of the old Roy made him feel.

Both of the Alchemists looked skyward at the sound of thunder in the distance and Ed spotted for the first time dark menacing clouds on the horizon. He turned his attention back to Roy, but the General's head had dropped again.

Ed was shocked, for what must have been the third time in ten minutes, at Roy's casual dismissal of coming rain. The General hated the rain and used to take any route to avoid it unless he was out for official reasons.

"Looks like a storm's coming in. It'll probably start raining in about an hour," he prodded a little; further disturbed when Roy's only response was an affirmative grunt and a swallow of wine.

"You should probably be leaving soon, huh?" he tried again to gain a verbal response. Roy glared up at him again.

"I'm fine Fullmetal," He ground out in a tone that screamed 'why do you care?'

Ed sighed, some how knowing that he wasn't going to leave Roy outside to continue drinking in the rain by himself. He knelt down and, despite the General's protests, gathered up an arm and started to haul the officer to his feet.

"Yeah well, unlike some stupid asshole I know," he started, getting one of Roy's arms over his shoulder. "My mother taught me to come in out of the rain."

That earned a slight scoff/chuckle from the inebriated General as Roy tipped back another swallow of wine. Ed shook his head and, with one last look to Hughes's grave, started steering Roy out of the cemetery and to the General's home.

Ed thanked his lucky stars that Mustang had taken his car to the cemetery. He himself had walked from his hotel, since it wasn't far, but Ed didn't know how far Roy's house would be and he really wasn't in the mood to get soaked. He managed to get the raven-haired man piled into the passenger seat of the black two-door before he climbed in and set them off down the street.

Roy grudgingly gave him slurred directions when prompted, but otherwise the ride was silent. The wine was gone nearly half way to the house, and Roy seemed surprised every time he tried to drink from the empty bottle.

At long last they pulled up to the gate just as the sun was sinking beneath the horizon.

Ed spared a glance to the sky as he moved to Roy's door, noting that they were probably going to miss the rain by mere minutes. He gave a sigh of relief and focused on getting Mustang from the car to the porch.

Ed struggled to get the stumbling officer up the last few steps to the rather large estate, but they eventually made it to the door in one piece. Ed looked over at the raven-haired man leaning on him, wondering if Roy would be coherent enough to find his keys.

"General," he started, giving the man a little push. "We're here… where are your keys?"

"Huh?" a bleary, dark eye tried in vain to focus on the blonde alchemist holding him up.

"Keys, Mustang? Where are your keys?" Ed asked again. He saw the question click before Roy started patting himself down sloppily with one hand.

"In ma pock-ed…" came the slurred reply, clumsy hand still searching. Ed sighed as he realized that this way they would be stuck out on the cold porch for a good twenty minutes. Ed was going to have to find them himself. He didn't know why, but that thought made him blush.

"Hold on… I'll find 'em," Ed growled, maneuvering Roy so that he could search the man's pockets. For some reason, the inebriated General found this amusing as Ed heard him snickering over his head.

"What the hell are you giggling at, Mustang?" the blonde demanded, finally finding the offensive keys in Roy's left pants pocket. Roy snickered again, one arm currently around Ed's neck as his head was propped on the younger man's shoulder. Ed was reaching around him to try and open the door while looking over the general's shoulder. He gave Roy a hard prod in the ribs, trying to get the man to stop laughing.

"Answer me, you drunkard… what the hell's so funny?" Ed finally managed to find which key fit and was trying to get Roy to stop laying half on him long enough to get them through the door.

However, just at that moment, Roy's other arm wrapped around Ed's waist, crushing the young alchemist against his chest, his nose buried in golden locks.

"You… at my house… with me…" was the only answer Ed received. His eyebrows furrowed, trying to decipher what exactly Roy meant, and trying to ignore the effect Roy's proximity was having on his body.

"You're drunk," Ed growled; face burning as he shoved the General back enough to push him through the door. That earned him another chuckle.

"Damn straight!" Roy announced proudly, nearly causing them both to face plant on the entryway floor.

"Damn it! Stay on your own feet, Bastard!" Ed barked. "You start falling and I'm dropping you!"

He didn't receive an answer except for another drunken chuckle and Ed started hauling the officer towards the stairs. Ed had never seen Roy's house before… at least not from the inside. The place was huge! There had to be at least two living rooms down stairs and probably around four bathrooms total. Apparently Roy had made a lot more then Ed had ever thought.

The blonde turned his attention back to the stumbling officer, doing his best to herd him up the stairs while preventing them both from falling backwards down them. At long last Ed had Roy somewhat stabilized, using his shoulder to support him, and they came to a hallway of at least six doors. Ed sighed. He had no idea which room Roy's would be and he really would rather just dump the man on the floor and head back to his hotel. Though, somehow, Edward just couldn't bring himself to leave Roy passed out at the top of his stairs and prodded the General in the ribs again, an action which earned him a half-hearted grunt of disapproval.

"Oi! Where's your room, Bastard?" he growled.

"Third one… that way…" Roy answered after a moment, blearily pointing towards their left. Ed grunted in understanding and started steering Mustang towards the room.

Ed wasn't sure exactly what he'd been expecting, but when the door swung open, he was surprised. There was little furniture in the sizable room. Nothing more than a desk and chair occupied the far wall while a simple dresser stood in a space to the left. Two doors were set into the left wall, one open and showing a spacious bathroom, the other one Ed assumed was a closet. Then there was the bed, a monster of a thing that could easily fit six people, ten if everyone snuggled.

And it was clean. Edward couldn't quite figure out why he'd expected the room to be a mess, but it was almost obsessively clean. So much so that Ed was slightly self conscious of how ragged his clothing was as he moved about, hauling the General to the bed.

At long last, Ed managed to get Roy laid out flat on his king-sized bed, now without the uniform jacket, belt, or his boots. That was as 'undressed' as Roy was going to get for bed since Ed was not going to strip him and Roy was practically unconscious.

"You're going to have a fucking fantastic hangover in the morning," Ed spat, tucking a pillow under Roy's head. "Moron."

"That's General Moron…" came the half-mumbled reply with a sloppy grin. Ed rolled his eyes and stood.

"Yeah, yeah General Jackass," he quipped. "Good luck sleeping off that much alcohol."

Ed turned to leave, suppressing a grin at his ex-superior officer's behavior, but was stopped by a rather insistent grip on his human hand. The blonde startled and turned to find Roy clinging onto his arm with what he almost would've described as a terrified look on his face. Roy was nearly falling off of the bed from his scramble to catch the blonde.

And just when Ed thought nothing else the General could do would surprise him more, the man spoke.

"Wait! Wait… please," Roy's voice had lost all cockiness and left the man sounding broken and desperate. "Please, Ed… don't go."

Startled gold locked onto desperate black as Roy's voice nearly broke.

"Don't leave me alone…"

(A/N ok, Roy may be a bit OOC in the next little bit… but keep in mind that he's drunk off his ass and is acting out of desperation and depression. And if Ed seems OOC at all, well, these are special circumstances that I think calls for it. K? Thanks!)

The rain was falling in hard sheets now against the bedroom window as the two alchemists stared at each other, neither certain if they should move.

Ed did his best to resist the urge to punch himself with his automail fist to see if it would hurt. There was no way that what was happening was real. Maybe he was drunk? No, he would've remembered drinking… or at least he'd have crashed the car. Maybe he HAD crashed and now was in some kind of comma and the last forty minutes or so were all some kind of whacked out illusion in his head.

Roy Mustang didn't cling… The Flame Alchemist didn't beg someone he was supposed to dislike to stay with him… General Mustang didn't look like he was terrified at the very thought of being left alone in his house… did he?

Whacked out illusion… yes, that had to be it. This was Ed's crazy dream and soon he'd wake up with Roy standing over him, condescending like always, laughing at him for being so weak as to get slammed into a comma.

But then, why did Roy's hand on his feel so real? Ed could feel the heat pouring from the man's skin, the ground was solid under his feet and his automail ports were aching from the cold weather outside. Surely if he were imagining things, his automail wouldn't be hurting and it sure as hell wouldn't be raining… he didn't like the rain.

Still uncertain that he wasn't in some car-crashed-into-tree fantasy, Ed lightly gripped the hand back.

"Mustang?" he was half-afraid that Roy would still plead with him and half afraid that the other alchemist would drop his hand and laugh it all off.

Roy's eye dropped as he lowered his head, black bangs obscuring the pale face. The man's deep voice resonated up to Ed, almost shocking in its sobriety, the broken tone still evident in the low rumble.

"I-I hate… to ask this," the General started, his hand tightening around the blonde's. "It's just… I can't… do this."

Roy couldn't believe he was saying this. He couldn't believe he was about to divulge one of his greatest fears to Edward. He knew he never would've had the guts without half his brain swimming in alcohol, but right now, as the words fell from his mouth, everything just felt right.

"I'm… I'm…" Roy nearly choked on the next words, but he forced them past the lump forming in his throat.

"I'm scared." As the last word wrestled its way out, Roy's shoulder wracked with a sob. The words kept coming and soon tears joined them, and Roy knew there was nothing he could do to stop either. "Fuck, Ed! I'm so scared! I've got nothing left, no goals, no dreams! I've been left alone and I'm scared shitless! Just… don't leave me alone… please!"

Ed practically jumped at the first sob and the confessed words confused him. He never would've guessed Roy was on the verge of such a break down and he was at quiet a loss of what to do. All he knew was he couldn't stand to hear one of the strongest men he'd ever known wracked with sobs and do nothing. So… he went on instinct.

Edward dropped to his knees by the bed, pulling Roy up and into a tight hug, wrapping his arms securely about the older man's neck. Roy stiffened at first, surprised, and Ed had to roll his eyes at that. Well, what did the idiot expect him to do? Punch him and run away? Did he really think him so heartless?

It actually hurt him to think that Roy had never said anything, had never let Ed know what he was feeling. If Roy only knew how many times he had nearly broken down, all the times he HAD broken. Roy knew of a few, as he'd been present at the time, but there were others that the General didn't know about.

With another heart wrenching sob, Roy gratefully buried his face in Ed's shoulder, clinging to the blonde alchemist like a life-line. The tears wouldn't stop.

He hadn't wanted this; he had never wanted to break down in front of the younger alchemist. He had always tried to be strong for Ed, to never let on to the young man how truly lost and afraid he could feel at times. But now, he couldn't stop it, and Ed just held him, quiet and understanding.

Ed started rubbing gentle circles across Roy's upper back, making little shushing sounds he remembered his mother making to calm him down. Ed felt his heart breaking for the officer, he had known the fear of being alone, a fear he had carried until he'd returned to Al from the other side of the gate. But that fear was gone for Ed now, as he knew he would always have a family waiting for him in Rizembool.

Though, Roy didn't have that. From what he had heard, and what the man himself had hinted at, Roy didn't have anyone he knew would always be there for him. He didn't have anyone he knew he could count on. Ed's arms tightened slightly around the shaking alchemist, feeling a deep need to truly console the raven-haired man.

"Shhh, its okay," the blonde whispered gently. "It's okay, I'm here now. You're not alone, Roy, its okay."

Roy shuddered at the sound of his first name and the whispered words, needing desperately to hear them and believe that they were true.

Ed ran a hand gently over the head tucked to his shoulder, lingering over the strap to the eye patch and then moving back down to rub at the back of Roy's neck. The tears were dying down slightly and Ed was silently glad for that, he didn't exactly handle other people's emotions well and he was relieved to feel Roy pulling himself back together.

"C'mon, Roy," he urged, gently untangling himself from the embrace and pressing Roy to lay back. "You should try and get some sleep. I'll hang around for tonight, okay?"

Roy lay back but wouldn't relinquish the hold he still had on Ed's left arm.

"You're… you're not leaving?" he asked, starting to feel sleep pulling him down. The emotional upheaval, as well as the alcohol, had fully exhausted him and his good eye was starting to droop.

"Nope," Ed answered, a small grin on his face. "Looks like we're having a sleep over. So, why don't you let go of my arm so I can go find a place to crash?"

But when Ed moved to pull his arm away, Roy's grip only tightened.

"Stay here… got room," the man mumbled, trying desperately now to stay awake.

Ed was certain his face was now the shade of a tomato. Roy wanted him to sleep in the same bed? He swallowed hard and nodded. There was enough room, he could spend the night on the other side of the bed and forget Roy was there. Yeah, like that was going to happen.

"Okay, okay," Ed finally agreed aloud as Roy failed to notice his nod. He prodded the man firmly and pulled on his arm. "But you've got to let go of my arm."

"Promise…"

Ed couldn't hold in a sigh, even if he was slightly amused by the request. Roy sounded like a small child when half asleep.

"I promise," he answered. "Now, please let go of my arm."

"Oh, yeah," Roy mumbled, releasing the blonde at long last and turning on his side. He was asleep in moments.

Ed watched the man for a few minutes, debating what to do. He'd said he'd stay, but, was he really welcome? And was it really a good idea? Roy was practically comatose now, his breathing evened out as he slept soundly. Ed could go to another room and he doubted the man would notice.

Ed sighed and moved to the other side of the bed. He had promised and even if Roy didn't remember and was royally pissed the next day, he would've had one night of knowing how it felt to sleep next to the older man.

And so it was with that last thought that Ed stripped off his boots, belt, coat and vest, rolled over, and settled in, the sound of Roy's even breathing lulling him to sleep.

The first thing Roy noticed as he woke up the next morning was that his head hurt. Son of a Bitch did it hurt! What, had he gotten in a fight with a crowbar last night?! Fuck!

He went to lift a hand to try and rub some of the pain away only to find a warm, solid weight holding it down. Now that he focused past the pain he found that warm, solid weight was settled down his entire right side.

That got Roy to open his eye and try to focus. As his vision cleared he looked down and was met with a shock of gold. The gold was attached to a head which lead to a body that was wrapped up in the arm he'd tried to move. The weight on his chest was caused by the warmed metal of an automail arm and part of a warm, flat chest.

It took Roy's hung over brain far too long to put those pieces together and come up with a person. When he did, he nearly shot up in surprise.

Edward!

That's when the previous night caught up to him and caused his head to go spinning.

That's right! He'd been drinking with Hughes for the better part of the day before Edward had found him. Before Ed had got him home, and before he'd broken down in front of the blonde that was currently curled along his side, looking as calm as Roy had ever seen the young alchemist, his face relaxed in sleep.

He remembered securing a promise from the young man that he wouldn't leave and it seemed Ed had been true to his word. They must have moved closer together while they slept. And now Ed was practically lying on top of the raven-haired man, one leg tangled with Roy's and blonde head tucked onto his shoulder.

It made the smallest of grin's break out on the raven-haired man's face despite the pounding in his head. He had always believed Ed carried a look far too serious for the younger man's years. It was nice to see the blonde so relaxed for once. In the next instant, the grin vanished.

Roy's body was beginning to demand attention, such as a trip to the bathroom and something to kill the goddamn headache, but he really didn't want to relinquish his hold and rather comfortable spot as Ed's pillow and risk waking the blonde.

Roy was fairly certain that when his head stopped pounding and he could once again think straight he'd be confused by his easy acceptance of Ed's presence curled along his side, but for the moment he just concentrated on making it out of the bed. It took some tricky maneuvering and nearly falling completely off the bed, but the raven-haired alchemist managed to make it from the bed to the bathroom without waking the slumbering blonde.

Once his bladder was emptied and a few Tylenol settled in his stomach, Roy grabbed a towel and started up his shower, ignoring the pain the noise caused as he gradually began to feel more human. With his head resting on the cooled tile of the shower walls, Roy found his mind landing heavily on everything that had happened the day before… and everything that hadn't happened.

Roy had never been a religious man, even less so after the war in Ishbal, but he had to wonder at the twist of fate that had brought Edward back into his life… on that particular night.

---

Edward drifted slowly from sleep, waking up to feel warm, rested, and indecently comfortable. He never remembered his bed feeling so fluffy… and huge. It wasn't until Ed's left arm hit the far side of the abnormally large bed that the blonde realized what was wrong with this picture. Either his bed had somehow magically grown while he slept, or it wasn't his bed.

Golden Eyes flew open as Ed jolted straight up in the huge bed, looking around himself frantically, trying to figure out just where the hell he was! It was then that a flash of blue caught his attention.

Sprawled across the back of a desk chair was a dark blue military jacket, a pair of white gloves laying haphazardly on the floor. There was a shower running behind a closed door and Ed relaxed as he realized whose house he was in.

Roy… oh yeah! Roy! The bastard had gotten himself plastered, and for some reason, Ed had decided to baby sit him for the remainder of the night. Huh, random act of kindness on his part.

Ed ran a hand through his loose hair, deciding to get up and get started with the day, completely avoiding all thoughts of his former commander breaking down the previous evening. Ed really didn't want to think about what it all meant at the moment, and found himself reaching down to collect the discarded gloves. He'd been too preoccupied last night to realize that the 'prized possessions' of the Flame Alchemist had fallen out of the man's jacket when Ed had taken it off of him.

As Ed placed the white scraps of cloth on the desk, he found something else he hadn't noticed previously. The General's side arm was sitting, loaded and ready on the desk-top. But it wasn't that that got the younger alchemist's attention. It was the piece of paper set beneath the gun that drew the blonde's gaze.

Ed was certain he shouldn't be snooping, but it was right out on the desk for anyone to see… so surely this didn't count.

He lifted the gun and held it as he looked over what seemed to be a short, hand written letter from Roy. As he began to read, he began to tremble, the gun rattling unsteadily in his hand.

It only said two things, but they made Ed's blood run cold.

_I don't want to be alone anymore. Tell them all, I'm sorry._

_ -Roy Mustang._

It was a suicide note…

Kuragari: yes I know, once again Roy's on common ground with his emotions… but I figured since he couldn't direct his depression and general guilt into a good goal (fuehrer no longer exists and he doesn't need to make those changes) that he'd be back to his unresolved remorse and sadness. Anyway, please review and see you next chapter!


	2. Chapter 2

kuragari: next chapter!

Roy sighed and shut off the steaming water with a flick of his wrist. His headache was finally going away and the urge to vomit had dissipated at last. Roy grabbed a fresh towel and vigorously attacked his hair, drying it as best he could.

As he wrapped the towel around his waist, Roy caught sight of his reflection in the mirror and couldn't help but grimace. The mass of scarred tissue that now replaced his left eye felt garish and gruesome. Roy tore his gaze from the ugly white-ish scar, immediately placing one of his black eye patches in place. He sighed again, running a hand through his hair and reaching for the handle when he suddenly remembered the note… and the gun.

He'd left them both out on the desk and while he doubted Ed would be awake already, he shouldn't have taken the risk. What would happen if the blonde found them? It was bad enough that Roy had broken down in front of the eldest Elric. But what would Ed think of him if he knew?

"Shit!" he spat, twisting the handle and flinging the door open, hoping to shred the note before the inquisitive blonde could find it and discover what he had been planning the night before. He was so distracted that he didn't register the automail fist flying at him until it hit him square in the chest and sent him sprawling backwards onto the bathroom floor.

Once he was able to breathe again and was certain his sternum was still intact, his gaze shifted up and startled onyx met burning gold as Edward stood, fuming before him. Roy looked down to see the automail still being held in a fist as Ed's other hand gripped a crumpled piece of paper… the paper Roy had just been worrying about the other man finding.

After looking up again and seeing the fury in those golden eyes, Roy dropped his gaze to the floor, unable to keep looking Ed in the face as the blonde stalked towards him. He couldn't bring himself to look up, even after several more backhands had been delivered to his face, this time with the human hand.

"How could you do this?! How could you even think about doing something like this?!" Ed growled, trembling with the effort it took to cease hitting the prone alchemist.

He was so angry it was surprising himself, but what surprised him more was the deep hurt he felt. He had felt it last night when he had learned things about the General that the man hadn't been able to trust him with before. Why was Roy shutting everyone out? Why was he shutting ED out?

From what Ed had learned about his ex-superior, Roy hadn't had such a bout of depression since the massacre in Ishbal. But that somehow had sounded different… he had been guilty and filled with remorse… but now… it felt like Roy was just giving up. And he hadn't let anyone in… hadn't let Ed in, and the blonde was feeling incredibly rejected. Why didn't the General trust him? He had thought that after everything… maybe they were at least able to consider each other friends.

Ed's fury rose at the last thought. He had thought they were friends, a fact that apparently meant nothing to the General.

"What… for once in your life you're not surrounded by people so you just give up? Huh?!" Even now Roy wouldn't look at him. The man just sat with his head hung in shame, accepting everything Ed dealt out as if expecting a death blow to come from the Fullmetal Alchemist. It was in that moment that Ed realized what was actually driving his anger… fear.

Out of all the chaos that had happened throughout his life, very few things had ever stayed constant. His brother's love, Winry's wrench… and Roy's commanding, if not generally condescending, presence.

The man had always been there, through everything and Ed realized that he had become, well, immortal in his mind. He had gotten a bit of a shock when he'd seen Roy's eye patch, but even then the General's mortality had never actually seemed real to the younger alchemist. It had always seemed like something he wouldn't have to face until they were all old and near death anyway.

But finding that note had changed everything and the proverbial slap in the face had scared Ed shitless. He had never been faced with the possibility that Roy could die so soon, he had never been forced to think about it. But now, he had started imagining what would've happened if he hadn't found Roy last night, the man may very well be dead already, and Ed would've never seen him again.

The thought made his eyes burn and he realized that he no longer wanted to hit the raven-haired man.

Roy kept his head down, taking all of Ed's bombardment in silence, knowing that it was no less than he deserved. The blonde was right… he was weak, and for Ed to have realized it, of all people, made Roy feel unbelievably foolish.

There was a long silence that hung in the air, and Roy just sat, waiting for another punch, maybe even a kick, but what he didn't expect was for the blonde to drop to his knees and throw his arms around his neck, the offensive note falling to the floor. Roy froze, unsure how to take the embrace and a little unsteady to find himself, once again, in the arms of Edward Elric, only sober and this time, hot tears were falling on _his _shoulder.

"You moron," an almost broken sounding voice whispered right in his ear, a choked sound confirming that the blonde was crying. "How come you didn't come and ask me for my help first?"

Roy placed his head on Ed's shoulder, choking on a broken chuckle as his own words were thrown back at him. Hadn't he said the same thing to Ed after tracking him all the way back to Rizembool when the Elric brothers had become fugitives?

"Last night…" Ed started carefully, blinking back his tears and refusing to blush when the fact that Roy was completely naked except for a towel finally sunk in. "You said that you needed me to stay…"

Roy nodded slightly, uncertain if he should respond or not.

"Did you ever stop to think… that maybe I need you just as much as you need me?"

The words hit Roy like a hammer, leaving something inside feeling bruised but not necessarily in a bad way.

"I figured you didn't need me anymore," he forced the words out of his closed throat, wanting more than anything to be honest with Ed. "You had moved on, with your family… and I just thought that the last thing you would want is a call from your ex-superior officer just so he could whine to you."

Ed chuckled a little before leaning back and looking Roy in the eyes. Old feelings he thought he had long outgrown came rushing back and Ed leaned forward until their faces were mere inches apart.

"Bastard… you really are a moron," he breathed, the amusement and affection behind it taking the sting from the words. "I would've understood. I've had my fair share of depression and wanting to give up."

His next words were whispered nearly against Roy's lips, both of the alchemists' heart beats kicking up considerably as Roy watched his approach with a stunned disbelief.

"For you, I would've been here in a heartbeat," Ed confessed, finally leaning that last centimeter forward, and sealing Roy's lips in a kiss he had longed to steal since he was fifteen.

Kuragari: ok, so parts of that chapter felt a bit awkward, if anyone thinks they can beta it for me, please do. I wrote most of it at like… 3 in the morning so it may seem a bit jumbled.


	3. Chapter 3

Kuragari: Yay! Good reviews! Although I think many were upset with my cut off point. Lol, sorry this took so long… I was having an issue writing out this next scene. Anyway, thank you so much for your patience and here is the next chapter!

The kiss was light and so gentle that it took Roy a second to register the contact. To say he was surprised would've been the biggest understatement in Amestris.

Sure, he had always fantasized that perhaps there really was something other than animosity and grudging friendship between himself and Fullmetal, but this was more than he'd ever hoped for.

There certainly was some attraction to the blonde on his part, but Roy was beginning to see that it was much stronger than he had anticipated. With just that simple contact of lips, Roy felt a pulse of heat travel down his spine and settle in his groin.

Ed's lips were soft, surprisingly so and Roy reveled in the feel of them. He attempted to deepen the kiss, pressing tighter to the blonde's lips, but just as he did, Edward abruptly pulled back.

The blonde gazed into Roy's face for a moment, obviously eager, and yet terrified of what the man's reaction would be. Roy brought his hands up to gently cup Ed's face, smiling a small, but real smile in order to reassure the young man.

When the small smile was returned, he brought their lips back together and led them slowly into a deeper kiss, massaging the blonde's lips with his own. Subconsciously he began stroking the smooth skin beneath his fingertips as he nibbled gently at soft lips, asking for entrance.

Ed gave in with a moan and the kiss became hot, wet tongues counterpointed by sharp teeth. Roy's hands slowly stroked downwards to circle Ed's waist and pull him closer, the blonde settling firmly against his chest.

They finally pulled apart with a need for air, Roy pressing their foreheads together with his eyes closed, fearing slightly that if he opened his eyes he would have dreamt this. He finally dared look up and found heated gold looking back at him with a similar uncertainty within them.

He had to smile when he realized that Ed had been having a similar fear, the blonde smiling back. Both men had to laugh at themselves and Ed settled more comfortably onto Roy's lap.

"So, do we have an agreement then Mustang?" Ed smirked, running his hands through the black hair before him.

Roy blinked a few times before smiling sheepishly.

"That I'm to confide in you from now on?" The blonde nodded and received a small kiss. "We have a deal… on one condition."

At the blonde's quirked eyebrow, Roy smiled and kissed him again.

"You spend the day with me and then stay again tonight," he said in a quieter tone.

Ed could hear uncertainty hidden behind Roy's ever-present confidence. The man was obviously still vulnerable, his smirk shaking and not quiet able to look into gold eyes, and it softened Ed's smile even more.

"That's two conditions," he teased. "But I think I can handle that."

The genuine smile that gained him was almost as wonderful as the kiss that followed.

Yep, Edward was certain he could more than handle a day and night with Roy Mustang.

Kuragari: Thanks for reading, I know I take forever just please bear with me. THANK YOU!


End file.
